true confessions of a compulsive speeder

• I love driving fast.
• It really annoys me when others go the speed limit.
• I have been pulled over 8 times in my life and have only been given 1 ticket.
• 2 of those 8 times happened in the past week.
• The following excuses have gotten me out of tickets:

1. I'm lost
2. I'm really sick (as snot rolls down my face) and I don't have any Kleenex
   
3. I've never been here before, so I don't know the speed limit
4. We were just chatting and I lost track of how fast I was going
   
5. It has been a long day and I was just trying to get home fast
6. I had no idea that was the speed limit
7. "No, I wasn't drinking. I have never drank in my entire life." "Yes, that is true. I'm Mormon." From the passengers in the car, "We're all Mormon." Me again, "Where are we coming from? Oh, we went down to see how long the line is for the So You Think You Can Dance tryouts." a brief pause then, " We're trying out tomorrow."

• My excuses are never that good. It is all about my delivery. I usually get really nervous, can't breath, can't talk and I look and sound pathetic.
• I made a New Years resolution to stop speeding- I have failed miserably
• The fact that I have gotten out of so many tickets reinforces my bad behavior.

Today I am recommitting myself: I will not speed while on normal roads, and on the freeway I will not go faster then 10 miles over the speed limit-- Feel free to check in with me on this.